Although I still refuse to admit that I fall in love with her, but seems like I'm accepting this fact. Everyday I go to school just trying to see her, even sometimes only saw her for a few second, I was still very happy. I'm so sick of this feeling. this is as same as the time in secondary school when I had this feeling on another person. But that person hurts me a lot, really a lot, and until now I don’t dare to go to another girl and tell her I love her, even though I see her everyday and think about her every night. Now, A’level is coming, and the stupid school always resist us from getting good results, when they suppose to help us. So now I’m in deep trouble.
Went to chalet with old friends, surprisingly she was there, but the way we treat each other, like not even a normal classmate, I admit that I pretend that I didn’t see her and never talk to her is because I felt very shy, but I didn’t know what her reason for ignoring me all the way. When we went to watch movie, and we were told that there were only couple seats, she immediately go to another guy and wanted to seat together with him. I knew she was just trying to avoid me. Maybe I am really a person that not socially desired and I should just go somewhere with nobody around me and stay until die.
I always claim that I like miss Laureen Toh, but obviously I am just trying to hide my true feeling. Whatever thing I do, I will just think about her every time. I was so sick, I think I already accept that I’m going to fail A’level, it’s just a problem of time, just wait for the time come and accept I failed and probably go to another country to start my new life.
I truly fall in love with 2 girls in Singapore, but my love is just to hurt myself more and more. I know we will never ever be together, but I just can’t control my feeling.
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